Look for an agent with specific divorce real estate experience, a clear process for equal communication with both parties, and a track record of staying neutral, even when the two of you don’t agree on everything.
Why Does Neutrality Matter More Than Charisma?
It’s tempting to hire whichever agent you or your ex already know personally, or whoever gives the most polished listing presentation. In a divorce sale, the agent who serves you best is not necessarily the most charming one. It’s the one who will treat both of you fairly, communicate the same information to each of you at the same time, and not quietly favor whichever spouse they have a closer relationship with.
If one of you already has a personal relationship with an agent, that can actually work against you both, since the other spouse may reasonably question whether they’re getting the full picture. Starting with a neutral third party, someone neither of you has a prior relationship with, often removes that question entirely.
This isn’t about finding the agent with the best personality. It’s about finding one whose process is built to withstand disagreement, because at some point in almost every divorce sale, the two of you won’t see eye to eye on something.
I’ve found that the agents who do this well aren’t necessarily the flashiest presenters in an interview. They’re the ones who can calmly walk through how they’d handle a hard scenario, like a lowball offer one of you wants to accept and the other doesn’t, without flinching.
What Questions Should You Ask an Agent Before Hiring Them?
A short conversation upfront tells you a lot about how an agent will handle your sale.
- Have you worked on a divorce sale before, and how did you handle communication?
- How will you keep both of us informed on offers, showings, and updates?
- What happens if we disagree on price or on accepting an offer?
- Are you comfortable coordinating with our attorneys if needed?
- How do you handle it if one of us wants to move faster than the other?
How Should Communication Work When There Are Two Clients?
In a straightforward sale, I typically communicate through a shared email thread or a group text so both of you see the same information at the same time, with the same level of detail. Neither of you should be hearing about an offer secondhand or getting a different version of events than the other. If direct communication between the two of you has broken down, I can also route updates through your respective attorneys to keep things clean.
I also make a point of documenting major decisions in writing, whether it’s an agreed upon list price, a repair request response, or an accepted offer. Written records protect both of you and prevent the kind of he-said, she-said confusion that can derail an otherwise smooth sale.
If one of you prefers phone calls and the other prefers email, I’ll accommodate both, as long as the actual content of the update reaches you at the same time. The format can flex. The information itself never should.
What Red Flags Suggest an Agent Isn’t Equipped for a Divorce Sale?
Watch for an agent who seems uncomfortable with conflict, who avoids putting things in writing, or who seems to be subtly aligning with one of you over the other. An agent who rushes you toward a decision without giving both of you time to weigh in is also a warning sign. This process already involves enough pressure. Your agent should be lowering the temperature, not raising it.
Another sign worth watching for is an agent who only wants to communicate with one of you and treats the other as an afterthought. Even if one spouse initiated the listing conversation, both co-sellers deserve equal access to information and equal say in decisions.
If you notice any of these patterns during your first conversation with an agent, trust that instinct. It’s much easier to choose a different agent before you sign a listing agreement than to try to fix a mismatched fit partway through your sale.
It’s also worth noting how an agent responds if you push back or ask a hard question during the interview itself. Their reaction in that moment often previews exactly how they’ll handle friction later in the transaction.
A calm, thoughtful answer to a tough hypothetical tells you far more than a smooth sales pitch ever will.
How Does a Neutral Agent Handle Disagreements Over Price or Timing?
When you and your ex don’t agree, my job is to bring data, not opinions, to the table. That means a market analysis grounded in actual comparable sales, a clear explanation of how pricing affects the timeline, and space for both of you to weigh in before a final decision gets made. I’m not going to tell you what I think you should do personally. I’m going to give you the information you need to decide together, or with guidance from your attorneys if you can’t.
In situations where the two of you truly can’t reach an agreement, I’ll suggest looping in your attorneys or a mediator rather than trying to broker the disagreement myself. That’s not my role, and pretending otherwise usually does more harm than good.
What I’ve found is that most disagreements resolve themselves once both people are looking at the same accurate information. Confusion and mistrust tend to grow in the gaps where information isn’t shared clearly, so closing those gaps is often the most useful thing I can do.
What Does This Look Like in Practice?
In practice, it looks like consistent updates, documentation both of you can refer back to, and a process that doesn’t depend on the two of you being on friendly terms to move forward. You don’t need to like each other right now for the sale to go smoothly. You need an agent who has built a process that works regardless.
I’ve worked with couples who were barely speaking to each other and still closed a smooth, efficient sale, simply because the process itself didn’t rely on their relationship being good. That’s the standard I hold myself to on every divorce listing.
At the end of the day, trust isn’t built through promises. It’s built through a consistent pattern of fair treatment, transparent communication, and follow-through, transaction after transaction. That’s what I aim to bring to every divorce sale I take on.
A Few Quick Answers
Can we each hire our own agent instead of sharing one? Yes, though it adds complexity, since two agents need to coordinate on marketing, pricing, and negotiations. Most couples find a single neutral agent simpler and more efficient.
What if we live in different cities during the sale? This is manageable. Digital signing, video calls, and clear written updates let me keep both of you fully informed regardless of distance.
Should our attorneys be copied on all real estate communication? It’s optional, but some couples prefer this for extra transparency, especially early in the process. I’m happy to accommodate either approach.
What if one of us wants to negotiate directly with the agent alone? I’ll always loop the other spouse in on anything substantive, even if one of you initiates a conversation, to keep things fair and transparent for both of you.
The Bottom Line
Choosing an agent you can both trust comes down to neutrality, clear communication, and a process built for two clients instead of one. The right agent lowers the tension in an already difficult situation rather than adding to it. Take the time to interview more than one agent together, ask direct questions, and trust what their answers and their demeanor tell you.
Ready to Talk?
If you and your ex are looking for a neutral Realtor to handle the sale of your Littleton home, I’d be glad to talk with both of you about how my process works and answer any questions either of you has before we get started.
Call or text me at (303) 775-9669 or email maci@livelaughcolorado.com. You can also download my free Seller’s Guide to get started right away: Download the Seller’s Guide
This blog is for general informational purposes only and is not intended as legal, financial, or tax advice. Every divorce and every real estate transaction is different. Please consult a licensed attorney, financial advisor, or tax professional about your specific situation.
Maci Chance is a Littleton, Colorado Realtor® serving Littleton, Highlands Ranch, and the entire Denver Metro area, specializing in local homes, neighborhoods, and lifestyle-focused real estate guidance.
